Weddings

I know what you might be thinking, what exactly is a celebrant wedding? How does it differ from weddings you may have attended in the past? And could it be the right option for you?

Well, I’m hoping I can answer these questions and give you a bit more information on celebrant weddings.

Right, I’m going to get the elephant in the room addressed straight away because we’re all busy people and I wouldn’t want you to have to read this whole post to find out at the end a key nugget of information which doesn’t fit with you and your expectations. Celebrants are able to create beautiful, bespoke, gorgeous ceremonies which fit perfectly to the couple and their needs, however, the UK government haven’t yet decided that we are able to do this legally (we’re not doing anything illegal!) This simply means that you need to register the marriage at your local registry office before the big day with us. This is really common practice on the continent, in fact all round the world, but just seems a bit odd to us here in the UK at the moment. It seems a bit weird? I get it. In my head, I liken it to having a baby. You have the baby (their birthday) on one day and then you have 42 days to register that birth at the local registry office. I honestly couldn’t tell you on what date I registered my daughter but I know on what date she was born. This is similar to celebrant weddings; a date of registry and then a date of wonderful celebration with family and friends – to be truly remembered. Celebrants conduct wedding ceremonies but the registrars conduct the legal marriages. In terms of pricing, it’s currently (in 2022) £57 to register a marriage in the local registry office. This would be the couple and two witnesses and usually takes about fifteen minutes. I could honestly write all day about this and my associated thoughts and feelings but it has become common practice and the norm in the UK for the church and council (registrars) to take ownership of marriage ceremonies but often that can come with structure, set wording and rigidity which doesn’t suit a lot of modern couples. There’s a huge education piece to let people know, far and wide, about independent celebrants and what they can offer. 

So, now that’s out of way, we can get to the good stuff. What is a celebrant wedding?

Well, a celebrant wedding looks exactly how the couple would like it to look. We start from a blank sheet of paper and have the ability to create a ceremony that includes whatever, wherever and whoever they would like. My first piece of advice would be to have a look on YouTube at celebrant weddings to see how different they can be.

A celebrant aims to get to know the couple on a personal basis so that come their wedding day, it feels like a friend is conducting your ceremony; or a friendly face at the very least. The process usually involves having an initial meet / zoom between the celebrant and the couple for that initial ‘getting to know each other’ chat usually laced with lovely conversations about how the couple met, the proposal and exciting plans for the big day. Then about four months before the wedding day the celebrant and couple would meet again to go through the couple’s story in more detail, discuss detailed plans for the day and any rituals they would like to include. The celebrant would then get busy writing up all those lovely ideas and chats into a wonderful, bespoke and special ceremony before sending it over to the couple for those all important checks. The day / evening before the big day, the celebrant would meet at the venue with the wedding party to do a choreographed rehearsal of the ceremony and answer any last minute questions. Then the big day comes and by this time, the couple feels relaxed and comfortable with the celebrant so that they are able to enjoy their big day with their loved ones.

One thing to note about celebrant ceremonies is that they can take place anywhere. Literally anywhere! Because all the boring, legal stuff has already taken place, the freedom of ceremony allows the imagination to run wild. As a comparison to registrar ceremonies, these need to take place in a local authority approved venue location.

So I mentioned rituals there. Sounds a bit ‘witchy’ doesn’t it?! Don’t worry, it most definitely is not – unless that’s your bag of course! Some couples chose to include a ritual into their ceremony. For example this might be a candle ritual where each member of the couple lights one central candle from their two individual candles. Or a sand ritual where two coloured sands are poured into a vessel by the couple to make a beautiful keepsake, remembering that once the sands are poured they may never be fully separated again. Again, I would advise you to check out YouTube for some great examples of rituals that can be incorporated.

If it helps, I would just like to do a quick comparison to a registrar and church wedding here.

The most important thing to celebrants (me) is that couples chose the option that fits them both the best. It is their big day; and (hopefully) they will only get one. Sometimes weddings can start to become about other people and their wants and needs but putting the couple at the heart of the wedding ceremony ensures that the most important and sacred part of the day is truly about them. A celebrant wedding is definitely something to think about and consider when planning your special day.